That is how child raising is. You get a bunch of blind “experts” groping at different parts of it and giving you their account of the issue. As apostle Paul would have it, “Now we see through a glass, darkly”. Alas, the whole elephant is invisible to us, and yet we are called upon to manage it to the best of our ability. So it is “the blind leading the blind”, and they the best guides we are doing to get in this valley of tears. Here, then, are my favourite guides,in no particular order, with a proviso that the elephant is a lot bigger and more complex then they make it out to be.
Susan Wise Bauer
and my new favourite guide, Martin Seligman
If you are not familiar with any of these people, I would advise you to meet them. I hope to review all of them, their points of view as well as their strengths and weaknesses at a later date. Right now, though, I would hop straight to Seligman since he is fresh in my mind.